MONDAY BLUES
This post will contain some adult life that you underage people don’t want
to understand.
So, this is like the pouring of a
cold fish’s heart that wants to get a feel of something in her short life. If you
find this interesting, then enjoy reading it.
Currently, I’ve been thinking that
I was trapped in my own comfort zone for too long. Yes, I guess a year is too
long. I wonder if there is something
that might or be willing to offer me some help to experience any feelings
again.
You know, what?
It is funny because honestly I
missed feeling extremely gloomy and
feel the tears down my cheek. It always makes me feel terrific after that somehow. There is something compelling in it that
makes me feel stronger than ever. Well, I do exaggerate a bit about that. But, the thing is I missed feel something and
not numb.
They say, “The dead cannot feel”.
And so do I, but I still alive.
I missed the things that I had in
the past, but I do not regret it just because I have nothing like that anymore,
it just reminds me how human I was. I missed being care to someone, but I
already learned the lesson. Not all of them deserve my sympathy. So I could not care less.
All the things that I have been
through makes me who I am today.
I am nothing more but a living robot.
Doing the same thing almost every day. Work, eat and get rest. Until I forget
who I am exactly. Sounds pathetic. I know. That is the life you will face when you get older. Nothing comes easily. But
if you do not feel what I feel right now, then you are extremely LUCKY. Congrats for you!
At some point, I don’t wanna go
out of my comfort zone. I am too fragile. And inside it, I will save from all
of the storms that have been waiting for me. I know this world is just temporary. But I am unsure that I could living in it
by myself for the next few years. I need company. Everyone else needs company. But
I guess the time is not now and I will be OK.
Love,
Me
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