THE SADDEST MEMORY IN MY LIFE

THE SADDEST MEMORY IN MY LIFE

The most painful thing that ever happened in my life is when my uncle died. It was worse than just broken-hearted or lost my pets.  Well, I know everyone will die eventually. But, I never know how it feels until it comes to me. I CAN’T EVEN TYPE THIS NOW. It’s still hard for me to remember all of the things that I want to write. So, I took a deep breath and just walked around to calm myself down.

Sunday morning, I just wake up like usual, feeling calm but enthusiast as well because of that day after I work, I will be seeing my young cousin who was born six months ago and he’s way  too cute so I can’t help missing him. My mom also wants to see him so she planned to go there in the afternoon. Then, my papa took me to my office and I listened to my favorite songs until we arrived, as usual.

On the way to my workplace, I felt neutral. Not happy, not even sad at all. Until I got there, I didn’t feel anything bad too. So, it was about 10 a.m, when I was sitting in the lobby, talking something funny with my friend as the receptionist, we got a call. She answered that call. I didn’t know who was calling but her face became so serious. So, I could say there’s something wrong.

She told me that my manager was calling, said my mom crying hysterically telling that my papa’s brother had died and asked permission for me to just leave my office. I got confused, then I checked my phone, there were so many calls from my mom that I didn’t answer. I try to call back my mom. My papa’s brother actually lived in Aceh mostly, so I think they could just go right away without me.

She answered me,  I never heard such a sad voice from my mom. This is deep. The first question I asked her, “who’s died, Mom?”. “Maitam…” I was shocked and after I heard it was him that died, my uncle from my mom’s side, my tears just fall down my cheeks like a waterfall. I can’t even open up my eyes and I guess I didn’t want to. Hope it was all just a dream. At the same time, my best friend was just coming out from the lift and I told her what happened, then she hugged me so I can chill.

I was crying along the way to his house. Hard to believe that his soul was not here anymore. When I just walked inside the house, my mom was crying, screaming loudly and told me that she was the one who watched him died in the living room. There were just my mom, my sister and his wife in the house. While my cousin who lived there and my other uncle took him to the hospital near my university just to make sure it was not too late, to make sure if he could still be saved, and to make sure whether he had gone.

We kept sending messages to everyone that know him and calling everyone we know so they can just pray and see him for the last time, especially his sons who already have their own family and lived out of town. One by one, people came to his house and help us to prepare some stuff that must be needed after they arrived.

It was just not me who shocked by that. Even my other uncles that I never see cry before, cried. They couldn’t hold it anymore, it just showed all over their faces. My mom seemed to have no idea how to stop shedding tears until her eyes were just like exposed to bee stings. Moreover, after he was bathed and allowed to kiss his forehead for the last time on the ground, we were just all weeping again.   

For the first time, since that Sunday morning, I can define death. Death is not an option, it is a must. Death shows us that our bodies mean nothing without a soul. You could never feel what others feel when it comes to death. You will always feel just like yesterday they still here. Now they are traveling somewhere far away that take a long time for them to come back. Somehow you already know that they will never return. It’s just if that person means so much to your life, it will never be easy to forget them. No matter how many times you try, it still lingers there. It is time, that can soften our pain and blur our memories.